Before I could come clean with anyone when I was 26, I needed to understand what I was facing and if there was any way I could navigate recovery privately. So I hit the library, scoured for books on the topic, and read about various healing modalities. I spent hours reading there because I was too embarrassed to actually check out the books. (This was long before Amazon would deliver anything to the privacy of your own home.) And even if I did check them out, what if my roommate found them?
One book that especially impacted me back then was, The Monster Within: Overcoming Bulimia by Cynthia Rowland McClure. Just reading her story in that first edition of her book gave me hope. I wasn’t alone. Up until that point, I had only known one other person who had bulimia, and it happened to have been one of my best girlfriends in high school. She had suddenly become quite thin, and one night we caught her purging. A few of us gently confronted her, but when nothing changed, we went to her parents so they could get her the help she needed. She eventually got well. I couldn’t believe I was in my mid-20s and caught in the same cycle.
After reading every book the library offered, I broadened my search to include treatment centers. My search for something local came up empty. I guess Vancouver was not the epicenter for bulimia recovery in the mid-1990s. But I did find a treatment center in Wickenberg, AZ. Going to rehab was radical, but it felt necessary.
Thankfully, today effective resources are available without disrupting your life with rehab. You can likely find an Eating Disorders Anonymous support group within six miles of your home, you can easily find a qualified on-line/telephone recovery coach, and you can certainly order recovery related books via Amazon and have them delivered to the privacy of your own home. Back then, this was not the case. Help was so much harder to find.
So take courage, you are in the perfect time and place to successfully heal from your eating disorder without a massive level of disruption. The resources are out there. Just grab Google and get going. 🙂
Love and light,