“Growth is a detox process, as our weakest, darkest places
are sucked up to the surface in order to be released.”
In October of 1995 after returning home from five months in rehab, I was faced with having to design a program of long-term recovery. Gone were the walls and locks and people rationing out my food and controlling my exercise. Gone were the daily counseling sessions, equine therapy, and being with sisters who totally understood. Back home it was real-life recovery, and I was petrified.
A quote in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “Half measures availed us nothing.” In other words, you need to play the recovery game full out. Trying to overcome your eating disorder half-heartedly will not work. But don’t be afraid. You will be victorious. Your pain will not be wasted. Go all-in and you’ll get there. Remember, you’ve simply been trying to get legitimate needs met in an illegitimate way, and once you learn how to get your needs met without using food, you’ll be free from the obsession.
Be gentle on yourself.
At the same time, you have to commit 100% to the game, no shortcuts, no fooling yourself or anyone else. You need specific tools for various stages of recovery that will help you build solid abstinence. You can use tools and resources in a linear fashion or you may bounce around from one to another as your soul indicates. Either way is okay. As long as the end result is full and final recovery, you are on the right road.
Some options to get you started are: treatment centers, AA/OA/EDA, Rational Recovery, one-on-one counseling, addiction recovery coaching, and plant medicines.
Grab Google and get the help you need. 🙂
Love and light,