Do you agree that thoughts fuel your actions? I do, and I think they fuel even more than our actions. In his famous quote, Mahatma Gandhi says, “Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values, your values become your destiny.”
Your thoughts will eventually either diminish or upgrade your life. They will keep you from your destiny or usher you powerfully into it.
When I think back to the barrage of negativity my brain had to deal with, it’s no wonder I needed to drown it out with various addictions. Thoughts can stem from early childhood trauma, being bullied in grade school, middle school sexual abuse, rejection in adulthood, or all of the above. How they entered, is less consequential. It’s what we do with them that is important.
As you wean from your eating disorder, you will deal with two primary types of disempowered thinking—real feelings you need to honor, accept, and then challenge so your resulting actions are in line with your values, and then false thoughts you need to flat out refute.
The real ones might be something like, I feel fat so I want to hibernate tonight. Other than the fact that fat is not a feeling (if you dig, the underling feelings are usually more like fear, sadness, or anxiety), it might be how you truly feel. In the moment, it is real. So you can lovingly honor the feeling and then challenge yourself to a thought that would serve your life better. I feel fat and I’m going to the party anyway. It honors and validates your thoughts and then steers your actions in a healthy way. The point is to create a new conversation and cast a new vision based on your values, not your thoughts. Do you value connection with people? Then honor that you feel scared about going out in public, but do it anyway.
Serve your higher self by changing your thoughts.
Do your thoughts shout, do not get in that pool with your kids, you need to lose weight first!? But you value family fun time and connection? Lovingly acknowledge the feeling, and move towards your values anyway.
Other types of thoughts you might battle are downright lies. And those you can handle entirely differently. This will take a concentrated effort, as during the weaning stage they will likely become incredibly acute. This barrage of thoughts will send you running back to your bulimia if you’re not diligent. Conversely, if you take some time to really think about what goes on between your ears and ponder how those thoughts affect your actions, you’ll start to gain ground. The volume—both in number and decibel level—of negative thoughts will decrease, and self-love with start to flow freely.
Here is another excerpt from my journal dated January 19, 2013—right in the height of weaning off of bulimia. Hopefully seeing my thoughts will have you feel less alone in yours and will spurn an honest probing into what thoughts you think on a regular basis. With awareness comes the ability to challenge them.
Top Ten Negative Thoughts (& The Actual Truth)
Can you see how sinister thoughts can be? And how simple they are to transform. The more you practice, the more your subconscious mind will start tapping into the truth. It will recognize the fleeting negativity and remind you to flip it to positivity. Are your thoughts similar to mine above? Would you think these negative thoughts about anyone else?
So why do we allow our eating disordered minds to think these thoughts about ourselves? Let’s not.
You’ve got this!